I work in customer service and today a kid told me to 'eat a d*ck, you dog, c*nt, slut'. So, customer service redditors, what are some of the most horrific/hilarious things customers have said to you in the course of your employment?

Chad_Chaddington · 2012-05-24T13:24:10.045744+00:00

I've had a guy threaten to break my neck after telling him he may have dialled the wrong number. He then asked me where I was so he could come and find me.

I've also had a seventy one year old (his date of birth came up with the rest of his records) threaten to "come after me" if his new phone plan didn't work just right. I didn't even register that as a threat for like half an hour.

oldspicerolldadice · 2012-05-24T04:56:02.053420-07:00

I knew I wasn't the only one who just imagines a flexing bicep whenever someone says 'muscles'.

theknightwhosays_nee · 2012-05-24T03:46:41.394788-07:00

Could be worse, the old lady could've had a Nazi dress-up fetish.

chuckboris · 1 day

I'm Australian, I don't get it.

ssjbasedgod · 2 days

I didn't think so.

vanillabean2492 · 2 days

Experience with teenage girls shows me that when you use these methods they just get better at hiding their behaviour. You'll catch her lying the first couple of times then she'll wise up.

ether-i-am · 2 days

My mother dosed me up on high octane "you're special!" from an early age. It took a lot of work to get over my hubris, and I kind of went too far in correcting it. I will actually get angry if people compliment me now.

ssjbasedgod · 2 days

Walking death sentence count?

thec0rinthian · 2 days

I work customer service, but I'm in hearing range of the worst tech support calls on the weekend. I heard one of the guys just this Sunday practically having to scream at the customer to look at the centre of the computer screen and then direct them from there to the start menu.

thec0rinthian · 2 days

I hate the reverse of this, "I have disproved the applicability of your metaphor so your theory is invalid"

Patrick_Himself · 3 days

I tagged you "knows a lot about tiger fucking" but looking at your username that might be redundant.

rubaisport · 3 days

You might own property, but you pay taxes, you obey the orders of your government, you follow laws set by people above you. Sovereignty is the point at which you are the highest power over a people within a territory. It means your government has the ability to rule without outside interference. In practice, this is almost never the case as just about every state is subject to foreign influence.

Sovereignty for WA would simply mean that they are no longer directly beholden to the federal government, they would not pay taxes or be liable under federal laws. The point at which they deserve that sovereignty, I feel would have to come after they prove themselves to be a unique culture independent of the rest of Australia, they have a legitimate reason to want separate, and their people are willing to die to defend that sovereignty. If they would just lie down in the face of another foreign power's intervention, with minimal resistance, then they don't deserve the sovereignty they wouldn't defend.

thepandoras · 4 days

Now that I can actually see it, it's just a mirror image of counting to eight in binary. I feel a little bit cheated.

thepandoras · 4 days

I recommend getting the words "NO", "YES" & "FUCK YOU" in three separate places on your body, normally obscured by clothing but easily revealed. If people ask you simple questions, you respond by showing them the tattoo.

"Hey buddy spare some change"

Flash the NO tattoo

"Did you get that for the sole purpose of reducing your human interactions?"

Flash the YES tattoo

"That seems just a little crazy buddy"

Flash the FUCK YOU tattoo

busymommy83 · 5 days

Oh god I have the same problem. I come over for dinner like twice a year and it's still always that fight to pretend she knows what she's doing because she is SO DAMN proud of her charcoal black steaks.

deanoau · 5 days

huh. I always assumed the hat was a religious thing, I only ever catch the rare episode on late night TV. Thanks for the clarification!

xX5x · 5 days

It's hard to prove at this stage, but common belief in the study of developmental psychology and linguistics is that for a period of early development (up until some period between 7 and 14 years of age), humans are possessed of what we call a language acquisition device. This device allows us to pick up a language by osmosis at a ridiculous rate. You'll notice this if you take a 3 year old to a foreign country, given suitable experience with the language, he can begin to speak it as easily as his first language very quickly.

After a certain age, this ability goes away, and we learn languages much slower. Note that this doesn't preclude learning a language later in life, and it also doesn't mean that you can't learn better just by being around it all the time, it just means that you can't super-learn the way kids do.

Edit: Forgot to include. In Genie's case, the effect of her never learning a language to begin with is believed to be a part of why she has so much difficulty picking up any language at all. You could learn a new language faster than her because you already have a language of your own to understand the new language in while you're getting used to it.

le-skwrl · 5 days

Success! High five your dad and tell it was from me but NEVER TELL HIM WHY. He's earned a little counter trolling.

g0dz1lla · 5 days

I'd take the Lazarus option, but I don't know if I'd ever use it. I'd go through my whole life worrying that if I use it now, what if someone I love more dies later and I blew my one magic revival on Adam West or something. Worse still, what if the person doesn't want to be revived?

Lt_Rooney · 5 days

Sure, a completely innocent film about a clown who lives in the sewers. Especially considering the clown is a just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.

rubaisport · 5 days

destroy democracy and free will

They are part of the commonwealth. COMMONwealth. They share, we share back it's how the system works. They have no less democratic voice than any other state, in fact probably a little more since they have a lower population. You say free will and I think you meant self determination. If they were a clearly identifiable group, separate from the rest of Australia then they would qualify for that, as it stands, they do not.

le-skwrl · 5 days

It's kind of a turf marking thing, she's calling out to all in the local area "THIS IS MY SPAWN. I SQUEEZED IT FROM MY VAGINA. ISN'T IT GREAT?!"

le-skwrl · 5 days

Your mother blasted a school with a song about anal.

le-skwrl · 5 days

That's some fine parenting. Skip school much after he pulled those stunts?

pirateassassin · 5 days

I once scanned in an edited an old non-teaching day notice, changed the dates and brought it home to my mother. I got a day off school and got away with it, until my mother was complaining about it to her friends later and they said that there hadn't actually been a day like that. I escaped punishment because she was too impressed.

jeanthine

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jeanthine

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