Like I said, he didn't seem angry when he slapped her back. And if that's what you consider a "wallop", I don't really know what to say. It was a slap. He took a minute to put his glasses back on and consider his response. He didn't knock her over nor leave a mark on her; there was no real force behind it. He did not yell at her. He did not have an angry expression on his face. Clearly his intent was to show her he did not consider her violence acceptable. I think he made that clear with minimal impact. IMHO, giving her an arrest record would be going too far, and she may not be able to afford a fine, the jailtime associated with assault (on a police officer no less), or the possible loss of her job if she's suddenly gone for a week serving her sentence.

By making the comment that small things make small men angry, but saying absolutely nothing about her initiating violence, you're implicitly condoning her behavior. You chose to judge his actions but not hers. I don't feel like that's a very complicated concept to understand.

Whatever. I love my wife, but she knows I have enough respect for myself that I would never let her hit me. YMMV. I don't consider hitting people to express yourself an acceptable adult behavior, and I won't put up with it. Conversely, I have enough respect for her (and women in general) that I would never initiate violence against a woman. I will defend someone (man or woman) being attacked (by a man or woman) if it's clearly a one sided fight and they're just trying to get away from violence. I think that's a fair stance, and it doesn't perpetuate the archaic stereotype that women are weak creatures that can hit people with absolutely no consequence.