Aetheralloy, I'm not piling on you. This is genuine advice. We both know that you're feeling persecuted and overwhelmed at the moment, and that you're in real danger of saying something stupid and becoming the next terroja. You need to calm down. I'm saying this as... well, not as a friend exactly, but as someone who doesn't want to see you embarrass yourself: turn off the fucking computer and go make yourself some chamomile tea.