this post was submitted on
8 points (53% like it)
66 up votes 58 down votes

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own!

top 200 commentsshow all 255

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

  • It is only possible for OP to marry women.
  • It is not possible for a woman to become divorced without having her life ruined.
  • No woman ever chooses to enter a marriage with someone who is not sexually attracted to her.

I'd like to propose an amendment to your favor: Never get married to anyone without being fully honest about every relevant part of your past. Never get married without being fully honest about your relevant feelings and reservations in the present. If you can satisfy these conditions, then you have my blessing, at least, to get married.

[–][deleted] 113 points114 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yea... you're still gay, just in denial. Sucks to be you, man. I would def not change everything about myself for all the people around me. Acceptance from your family does NOT in any way mean acceptance from yourself. Seriously... sucks.to.be.you.

Edit: just learned that you're 16??! yea. get out into the world, get to know yourself, read more books, get other perspectives besides your family's.. you have a long way to go, dude.

[–]hypnoreddit 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks for your thoughts. They say College is where you go to find yourself, right? Maybe I'll end up realizing whether I'm truly gay or straight in 2 years from now. Currently it's neither.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yea, you need to be on your own. Don't let your family try to define you. that's your job. keep your head up and seriously, start learning how to be independent.

[–]hypnoreddit 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]hypnoreddit 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's how it feels like right now.

[–]porkmaster 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

because you have trained yourself to not like what you're wired to like, you feel nothing. good one. that's healthy ;-)

[–]Fosnez 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

asexual

Man, I was EXACTLY like you 10 years ago. Believe me, be who you are and not what other people force you to be. It makes you mentally unwell, I know this from personal experience.

[–]jmerm 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have a friend who used to claim to be asexual (when he was 16ish). Then he got fucked by some girl. Now he is very into both genders. I know that this is anecdotal but it seems that teen asexual tend to not know themselves well.

[–]MaximumAbsorbency 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Teen anythingsexuals very often don't know themselves well.

[–]vedf 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It is indeed. You're young and you have time to experiment.

Don't be hasty, and figure out what you really want. Be true to yourself. When you get into college, definitely take the time and learn about yourself.

[–]pre_owned_fleshlight 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Give it some time, you will be sucking cocks left and right once you truly discover yourself again. ;-)

[–]foxanon 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Everything will change for him when he goes away to college.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

for fucks sake, I hope so. (pun intended)

[–]foxanon 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If he doesn't oh well, he's missing out on his life.

[–]hypnoreddit -5 points-4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm not really sure what I'm really missing out if it's going to do nothing but cause problems.

[–]foxanon 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The human brain will do the craziest things to justify anything. Look man I'm 21. I went through the same exact shit you went through. My brother gave me shit every single fucking day of my life for being gay. I'd freak and yell, "I'm straight!" He'd mock me saying "Straight like a circle." My parents used to tell us that gay or transsexual people we saw on tv were sick in the brain. They were sick in the head. I know what shit you're going through. I was there. My entire family is full of homophobes.

What you're doing right now is what will cause problems for you later in life. I implore you to reconsider but you're gonna do what you're gonna do. I just hope you don't commit suicide due to depression because of what is yet to come.

It's better to die being who you are, than to live a lie.

[–]hypnoreddit 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My mom has jokingly brought up in passing that they won't pay for my tuition and disown me if they catch me in a dorm bed with a guy. Got me worried for a bit.

[–]foxanon 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah do you seriously think your mom and dad are gonna stay in your dorm with you? And if thats a serious threat, then go for scholarships. Shit dude you're young enough. Pay for college yourself if thats how they're gonna play. People are so ready to throw in the towel so damn early.

[–]freedomischaos 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

or don't sleep with guys in your dorm room, sleep in theirs.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Let me clue you in on a lesson that took me several years and many, many hours of sobbing to realize: Family who would put you through that sort of thing is not how a family should behave. You deserve to be respected and loved for exactly who you are. No more, no less.

[–]shperk 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

HILARIOUS, right?

[–]UFOabductee 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So they're using money as bait to manipulate you.

[–]pusan 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow, your mom has a great sense of humor!

[–]zombiegirl2010 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So finish up high school with a bang...graduate top of your class...qualify for many scholarships. Do not put yourself in a situation where you will be dependent on your bigoted parents.

[–]bbbbirdbirdbird 0 points1 point ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As a kid, my dad told me he'd throw me to my death if I turned out to be gay. I'm bi but that day I decided being interested in guys was dangerous and terrible. I decided to be straight only. Later in college, I started feeling attracted to guys sometimes, and I would torture myself about it with shame. It wasn't until this year, age 25 married 2 years, that I recalled that event with my dad, realized I had been in denial all these years since that moment, and came out to myself. It's too late for me now. I can't explore my sexuality. My wife is not ok with that idea.

Don't try to change your sexuality. It's impossible. Whoever told you that hypnotism can end your gay feelings is deluded. You will only hurt yourself mentally and emotionally.

[–]Corgana 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't want to sound ignorant- but how do you know? He says he's not- why shouldn't we take him at face value?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

because he's 16.

[–]tomrhod 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I can't tell you how livid I am right now. Fuck everyone who pushed you into this. Fuck your family for their guilt-tripping bullshit. They have now screwed you up; how much and for how long I do not know, but now they have implanted a dark seed inside your mind that will continue to grow if you let it. A black, depressive pit that could overtake you and lead to a life of quiet desperation and misery.

I had a friend commit suicide over this exact kind of shit. Fuck your family, I have no sympathy for them whatsoever. I know you love them, and I know they love you, but that means squat when they use that love against you to try and make you into something you aren't.

Fuck the peers that made you think you were some kind of abnormal creation, as if they are so pure and untouched.

I hope for nothing but the best for you, and that when you go to college that it's far away, miles from the hurtfulness and guilt and misery that all those ignorant people put you through. I am so very sorry.

[–]hypnoreddit 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm sorry to hear that...

I appreciate the suport. Perhaps this sense of happiness is false.

[–]grey_sheep 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

not really "false", just...hm.

it's like getting hungry, wanting a hamburger, and then convincing yourself that you can't cook hamburgers. you're gonna keep gettin hungrier and hungrier. then one day you try to cook a hamburger and it works. suddenly everything is different.

[–]zombiegirl2010 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Your 'happiness" is simply you patting yourself on the back for pleasing your parents. That will pass once you realize how lonely you get dating the wrong sex...or not dating at all.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Okay, I'll be the first person I've seen in the comments I've read to say this. There are probably a few lower down on the page, but I doubt many.

Maybe it's possible to truly do what you have claimed. And to get true happiness from it. I would like to believe that much our sexuality, like most of our mind, can be consciously conditioned but that few people have done it successfully, for a variety of reasons.

So, let's claim that it is possible for you to change your orientation. And that you wish to do so. We'll further ignore the reasons why, even if you could change your orientation and everyone else around you wants something different, your choice is not one that I would make.

Then I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say: Good on yeh. You've done what common wisdom has claimed is impossible and you've fought against strong instincts in yourself. With this level of self-discipline, you can experiment with drugs and quit them when you need to, develop outstanding physical fitness, and achieve success in schooling.

Perhaps your sense of happiness isn't false. For your sake, I hope it isn't.

Good luck. But remember, as others have repeatedly said, live your life the way you see fit. If that means fucking guys, go for it. If that means value your family above all else, then so be it as well. I wish you well.

[–]Crieswhenbusmoves 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dude if you're only 16 this is ridiculous. You're seriously just confused like a lot of us were at your age. Just relax, enjoy life, probably stay a virgin for a while and most importantly, stop claiming that you trained yourself not to be gay - it sounds ridiculous coming from a 16 yr old.

[–]lovethebomb 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Exactly. You can't degay any more than you can derace. It seems this lad is destined to do what many self repressers (including myself) do; spend the next 25 years trying to date women and/or make a marriage work and then, too late, realize it was a fool's errand and finally accept who they are and what they really like. At age 40 or later.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Really, it sounds ridiculous coming from anyone.

[–]hypnoreddit 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I guess it does, but I'm happy... isn't that what matters?

[–]UFOabductee 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You can't get an erection. I would not describe that situation as happiness.

[–]foxanon 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's artificial. You're trying to please the people around you. You're happy because your parents and peers aren't upset with you.

[–]Liganna 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm sorry you were treated so horribly because of your sexuality. I hope you come into your own one way or the other without shame.

[–]jsantos17 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So you are gay but are blocking attraction to males since you consider it wrong. Got it.

[–]scaryberry 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm not gay. But I can tell you that your main point - supressing your own needs to appease the family norm - will only give you a lifetime of misery. You have to put yourself first. If your family loves you - they'll get it. If they don't get it - that's ok too. To thine own self be true.

[–]hypnoreddit 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks for your input. It's appreciated.

[–]falsehood 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I find it interesting that everyone on Reddit is making their own effort to "save" you, but I think the rest of that quote is useful:

But this above all: to thine own self be true, and it shall follow, as the night follows the day, that thou can'st not be false to any man.

[–]Halfawake 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Share any context about your username?

[–]falsehood 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In the same vein, my username is not me: a false representation of me and things I say that I sometimes don't want associated with my real name. This moniker is thus, literally, a "falsehood" of my true self.

[–]Halfawake 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If it's the time you break free of pressures on what not to say, what makes it false?

[–]falsehood 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Falsehood" is self-referential to the name (ie: how the name throwawayaccount refers to itself), not to my content. The "falsehood" aims to speak truth. It's like a penname.

[–]stvspl 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Listen, I've been where you are. Nearly exactly. In my opinion, it's once gay, always gay. I spent years trying to delude myself into being "straight" or "asexual" or, later, "bisexual", but I'm just gay and that's the way it is. It's a great life (on the real).

Give yourself a few years, don't be afraid to be who you "really are" inside through the rest of high school and college, and know that if your parents and family really love you, they'll grow to understand that you are the way you are. Mine did, against all odds.

Tricking yourself into thinking this won't work forever. You deserve sex and sexual maturity. Go out and get what you really want (be safe!) and learn some more about yourself. Good luck :D And let me know if you have any questions.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As a straight male with a ton of gay friends, I've got to say, you guys have it really hard, harder than is fair.

But remember this, you only get this one life, so you might as well spend it doing whatever the hell makes you happy.

[–]vjarnot 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Big deal. I liked Metallica when I was sixteen.

[–]ISAIDpuck_you_miss 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So long as you are straight, your family will love/support you right? WRONG. love is UNconditional. NOT CONDITIONAL. What if you have a certain political belief, or even a mannerism, that doesn't fit in with them? Are they just going to disown you then?

You're going to spend your entire life trying to be what you consider normal, AND THEN YOU WILL DIE. AND THAT WILL BE THAT. No fucking do-overs man.

A real man knows who he is on the inside and doesn't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks. It's understandable at 16 to still be a boy, but I hope, 5 years from now, you stop trying to conform for your parents, and start being a man.

Ain't nothin' sexier than a man who's self-confident.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How much gayness have you had? I.e. dated a guy? Blown a guy? Had sex with guy?

Top / Bottom?

Of course, I'm asking BEFORE

[–]hypnoreddit 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Internet porn is the closest I've gotten to - and was caught red-handed one day (REALLY EMBARASSING). That's when everything went downhill. I have assholes of brothers who started spreading the word out at School when I got into a fight with them one day (as they threatened to tell others... and they did).

[–]foxanon 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah. You care too much about what others think. I hope one day you can look back on this and see how foolish it is to deny yourself who you really are. After graduating high school you might change when you go off to college and no one cares who you are. I've gotten to the point where I love it when people talk about me, be it good or bad. It gives me a sense of accomplishment because I must be important enough to have someone talk about me. If they're spreading rumors what do I care? They're not true so I don't get worked up over it and they subside rather quickly. Things for you might change when you have sex with a girl for the first time.

[–]hypnoreddit 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Does that mean you think I should try to have sex with a girl and a guy and compare the two?

[–]foxanon 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nope. You can try to fight it. You really can. But if you know you like guys then sex with females won't be fulfilling. I mean hell I lost my virginity to a female I was so repressed. I remember just fucking her and I'm thinking, alright this isn't so bad but I wonder what having sex with a boy would be like.

You'll realize it later. You just need time. If you want to continue to lie to yourself I'm not gonna tell you to stop. But I feel that in time, you'll understand.

[–]imamonkeytoday 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Seriously, look at all the animals that are gay. This is a part of being a high functioning organism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals

[–]TikiTDO 4 points5 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

To start, I'm honestly hoping this is just an attention getting troll. Even if that would make the following post irrelevant, at least I would feel better about the world.

First, I will say this right off. If you're still in your teens, you should really not experiment with hypnotherapy, especially for such a serious topic. It can be a good tool for certain behavioral problems, but this is way more critical than that. Honestly, your age is also probably the worst to be doing such modifications. There is a very real chance that you have completely lost your chance to live a normal, balanced life.

What I gathered from the thread is that your change created a temporary illusion of happiness, both for you and for your family. Given your age, it will probably feel like the change worth it for the next two to six years. You are used to support from such a wide group of people, and it certainly would not be enjoyable to have that group reduced. Unfortunately, when you are ready to strike out on your own, and start seeking a relationship this will really come back to hunt you. Given that you are at least midway, and most likely past the midway point of puberty, your mind had already mostly adapted to a homosexual lifestyle. You're not likely going to be able to change a large part of that. In the best scenario, you may be bi, or be able to resume where you stopped, however, you may also not get much enjoyment from sex at all, nor be able to develop an emotional attraction to either gender; given that you say you're currently neither gay nor straight, the latter one seems to be quite probably.

Unfortunately, just like now, this sort of lifestyle adopted later will most likely not endear your family towards you at all, so effectively your actions may have just delayed the matter by half a decade. For others in this sort of situation: certainly, this will get you through university with your parent's support, but that is really not as big a problem as it seems to you at the moment. Once you are in the adult world, playing by the rather darwinian rules of survival, you will be met with problems that are significantly more severe and pressing. At this age there are still loans and grants to help you, and plenty of places to receive services. What more, I imagine at least a few of your friends will be good enough not to turn on you for such a revelation, so it would show you who likes you more than some admittedly entertaining fairy tale. Who knows, perhaps after some time on your own your parents will be able to realize that their beliefs are not going to survive your generation.

Right now, since you already went through the process, it would be pointless to burn any bridges with you parents. The best thing you could do is take up meditation, and have a few Wikipedia journeys from Interpersonal Attractions, Puberty, and Homosexuality. Also, try to understand what drives your parents so much, so you can use that to influence them later on. For instance, are they afraid of hell? Then build your argument by referring to the religions that accept homosexuality, and providing examples of how they are being hypocritical of the situation from the texts they believe in.

Hopefully that will let you mitigate some of the long term damage, and put you on the right track towards a more balanced relationship with your family, community, and the rest of the world.

[–]HolyZesto 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you don't have any feelings for girls, it sounds like you're just suppressing who you are. Don't you think that at some point your should put your adulthood before your families misplaced feelings and just live how you were born to live?

[–]hypnoreddit 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't feel like it's healthy for me to like other men. Or maybe I'm just brainwashed after all the years of homophobia I've endured. But at the end of the day, I can't see myself giving into it. It's just right to me anymore. Something is off.

[–]foxanon 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

brainwashed after all the years of homophobia I've endured.

Yeah it can be hard. You must learn to stop caring about what other people think. You are entitled to have an opinion too.

[–]hypnoreddit 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That is very true. Just hard to deal with and figure out - hence this thread.

[–]foxanon 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What are you trying to figure out?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't feel like it's healthy for me to like other men.

....why?

[–]saxmaster 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Maybe there are different layers to the issue. Rather than thinking "either I'm gay or straight", maybe you are capable of experiencing a range of attractions to people. Maybe it has more to do with the people you're around or the way your life is going in general. I think you're brave for exploring yourself and not just clinging to the first label you come across.

[–]suteneko 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I can't see myself giving into it.

Giving in? Look... straight people don't have urges to be gay once they're grown up and stable. If you repress yourself you'll turn into one of those crazy homophobes, filled with hatred of the openly homosexual for failing to control their amoral urges and giving in, before ultimately snapping and having gay sex with their meth dealer.

You're young. A lot of stuff happens during puberty and prison that can be confusing. In many cultures, close male friends will hold hands and kiss. You have these genes in you which can be very confusing when coupled with piles of hormones and a society that teaches us that such behavior is unacceptable and homosexual.

Do me a favor. Figure out who you are, ok? If you lie to yourself it'll catch up to you. Please don't turn into a self-hating homophobic meth-smoking fag-fucker like Ted Haggard who spreads hatred, prejudice, and societal dysfunction before ultimately destroying their life and family.

[–]chwedl 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're 16? Give yourself a bit more time and don't try to change what you are.

[–]lostpilot 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

what changed? how does it work?

[–]hypnoreddit 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't get any random erections over guys anymore. So far that's pretty much it.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Do you get random erections over girls?

[–]hypnoreddit 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not yet. Not that I know of, anyway.

[–]zenmity 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Then you don't go about "living a straight life", you go about living an extremely unhealthy sexually repressed gay life.

[–]UFOabductee 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So then you're not straight. You've just diverted your libido. Libidos don't just dissapear. It's going somewhere. It will surprise you sooner or later.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

not that you know of? so you dont get random erections like "normal" guys? they have repressed you this much? and this is all ok with you? maybe you have answered this already but how old are you?

[–]lovethebomb 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That is really super sad. Getting boners over guys is one of the best parts of any well balanced day.

[–]vjarnot 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're sixteen for crying out loud... random erections do not make you gay.

[–]lostpilot 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

why did you feel the need to change? religious/family pressure? would you say that other people validate who you are?

[–]hypnoreddit 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Family and peer validation. I feel much more liberated and free and happy that no one badgers me as much anymore. I still get the gay jokes in class time to time though.

[–]lostpilot 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

it seems that instead of hypnotherapy, you should've had some self-esteem training. are you truly happy and content? cognitive dissonance will catch up with you.

[–]hypnoreddit 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I am happy. Content, I'm not sure of yet. In a way, yes.

[–]tootie 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

peer validation

That's the worst reason to do anything. Once you get out of high school their validation will be worth absolutely nothing. Go to college in a city somewhere and live how you want to live and make no apologies.

[–]hallwaywarrior 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. Be as gay as you want and lead a happy honest life. Right now you're just fooling yourself because it's the easiest thing to do. At your age I understand that- but you can't live life that way. Be yourself.

[–]SkatjeZero 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

(posting on my girlfriend's reddit since I don't have one, but i felt like posting)

OK dude, let me extent some sympathy in that I understand that it's hard to hurt your family if you are close, whether or not you think you are in the right. For me, it was leaving Christianity. I don't even think it's my place to tell you "you're not allowed to care about your parents expectations more than your desires" or some such. Your priorities are your priorities, but if that's what you are planning on right now, instead of telling you what to do or what's right and wrong, let me try and extend some warning about how things might go.

Lot's of gay men try to "become straight" and it never seems to work out in the long run. It's not something you can change that easily. Feel free to do some research. Furthermore, I think you should really reconsider trying to make yourself like girls, because that's not just about you and your desires. It will eventually be about a girl. If you get into a long term relationship and in the end don't feel right about being straight, you could do some severe emotional damage to her.

You're 16 now, and you live at home. There's no rule that says you have to have a girlfriend/boyfriend right now or that you have to within the next few years. Don't go hurting some poor girl by using her to reassure yourself. Making a decision while you are still under your parents like this is not conducive to making a sound decision. If you can help it, try not to set yourself up for a post-high school life that is extra financially dependent on your parents.

And finally, I am currently living in an apartment with my very openly atheist girlfriend, and renounced Christianity myself about 4 years ago now. I still am close with my pentecostal parents and talk to them regularly and civilly. If they are good parents they will understand you don't want to hurt them and they will love you anyway. If not, I hope you can eventually find someone who doesn't love you just because you do what they want.

Good luck, and don't make any rash decisions.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reddit, giving teens the attention they crave.

[–]JimmyJamesMac 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just wait until you get to college. Your roommate might turn out to be a slightly buff guy from Miami with an emerging six pack and a penchant to sit around your room in his boxer briefs which cuddle his over-sized manhood just so. He'll get up one day and make you a cup of coffee, still half-hard from a good night's sleep, with his crotch at face level.

If the thought of that makes you want to vomit, you're no longer gay.

[–]hypnoreddit 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I just ended up laughing. What does that make me now?

[–]JimmyJamesMac 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Gay. Not doing gay things doesn't make you straight. Gay is not a behavior, it is part of who you are. I never had to train myself to be attracted to women.

[–]scrash 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Go on...

[–]desertbluesky 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How old are you? Do you still live with your family?

[–]hypnoreddit 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

16 and yes.

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Collective "Ohhhhhhh....."

[–]desertbluesky 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you are planning to go to college, go to college somewhere away from home. When you're there, don't limit the relationships and activities that make you happy because you're worried about your family: your brothers won't be around to spread rumors about you, your parents won't be around to make you feel guilty. You can experiment and figure out your personal identity, sexual and otherwise, on your own, which is going to be the only way you find out what makes you, a unique person, truly happy.

If you are not planning to go to college, please just try to be true to who you are and what makes you happy. You can't choose the family you're born into, but you can certainly get a new family (though not by blood) that will accept you for who you actually are.

[–]bearcakes 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hi! I hope this AMA is going okay for you.

Is the final goal for you to be attracted to women?

What kind of life do you see yourself living 10 years down the road?

[–]hypnoreddit 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes I want to be attracted to women. I'm working towards it right now. I don't know - I can't think that far ahead to be honest.

[–]ObjectiveGopher 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Already commented on this, but I want to just jump in on here too. Please stop working towards it. Believe me, you CAN NOT "work" towards changing your sexuality. You can't force it, your sexuality is part of who you are, it's part of what makes you human and you can't just "change it" you can only deny it, you can only lie to yourself and everyone else about who you are. Forcing yourself to be attracted to women won't make you straight, you'll still be gay only you'll be a liar too. I don't mean that last part in a harsh or mean way, I really don't, but it's just true. Anyways, once again, the best of luck however things turn out.

[–]drunkferret 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're 16, I wouldn't put a label on yourself yet.

[–]jibbybonk 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Do what you want to do. People will accept you regardless of what you choose. As long as youre happy then youre doing something right.

[–]hypnoreddit 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel happy with my decision right now.

[–]jenesaisquoi 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You said you live in the south? If I were you I'd consider going north for college/trying to find a tolerant campus, because it sounds like you still need to figure some things out. Personally, I've never tried to be gay or straight, but I have definitely felt some confusion.

I don't think it's a good idea to try to be someone you're not. Even for your family. Find people who will support you no matter what, and then work to find who you are. Sometimes everyone messes up.

And for the record, Catholicism is not anti-gay, it's just anti-gay acts. So since you're just same-sex attracted, but you haven't done anything about it, you should be a-ok in the eyes of God. Well, I guess not with the masturbating, but everyone has that problem.

[–]hypnoreddit 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm starting to look around at Colleges. We'll see.

Last I recall gay sex is against the bible?

[–]repsuc 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

so is oral sex apparently and thats fucking fantastic.

[–]3770 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So is eating shrimp.

You can pick almost any opinion and argue that the bible is for it. Or against it.

You are still very young. I'm impressed that you are listening calmly to all the advice you are getting here. I wish you the best.

I've seen many good pieces of advice. The fairest and best advice in my opinion is for you to find yourself and let yourself be who you are.

You don't know us in person. We are just anonymous nick names on a web site. But many of us are adults. Your parents may be wiser and smarter than some of us. But look around. Almost everyone here is supporting you by saying that you should try to find yourself and be happy.

It is very unlikely that your parents are right and everyone else on here is completely wrong.

[–]jenesaisquoi 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Gay sex is an "abomination" or whatever. But remember, the old testament was also totally ok with cousin marriages, slavery, and a variety of other things we commonly consider to be bad now. Also, Catholics aren't Bible literalists. And you'll commonly hear "Love the sinner, hate the sin". It's ok to BE gay, but not to act on it. Since you don't seem like you're going to act on it, I can't see any way that you're sinning.

Personally, I don't feel that gay sex in a committed, loving relationship is any different to straight sex in a committed, loving relationship (a la marriage). It's a human need, it brings to a new level of unity, and it's an expression of love. When done without selfish intentions, sex and love can be very closely linked. And since God is, in essence, Love, I can't accept that sex is inherently evil.

I just realized I didn't ask you anything, so... Do you feel a strong connection to Catholicism? What's the worst thing that happened to you because you are/were gay? Have you read any accounts of other people trying to de-gay themselves, especially those who realized it wasn't changeable?

[–]GlitterBerri 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So are haircuts.

[–]porkmaster 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

fuck the bible. religion is all made-up mumbo-jumbo and it's a good part of what's wrong with this world. other than racism, religion is the MAIN excuse people use for treating others like shit.

[–]roflcoptor69 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yep, just remember the bible says sodomy is wrong and slavery is alright and you'll be fine. So go out there, get some pussy and get some slaves.

[–]DoctorBaby 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow, I'm really sorry man. I'm not going to judge you or anything - you're obviously doing what you need to do, saying what you need to say, and convincing yourself of what you need to convince yourself of in order to survive. I have nothing but respect for you and what you're going through right now - just know that things will get better in time. Being young sucks, but eventually you'll be independent and able to live your own life - I just hope you don't lose the ability to enjoy your life and love yourself for who you are along the way.

[–]pytechd 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lots of gay men and women go through this. Lots of gay people have historically raised families with members of the opposite sex, including marriage, etc. If you choose to lead that kind of life, that's your choice.

Do realize, however, if you are actually gay, those feelings will likely resurface later. I'm guessing you're in high school? Don't make any life-long assumptions while you're in high school. Things change, and they change fast. Almost nothing anyone over 25 thought to be Fact(tm) in high school still applies to their lives now.

It may make it easier while in such a piss-poor environment like HS to pretend or whatever. If you haven't selected a college, I might suggest picking one away from family by a sizable distance. Go on a few dates with guys, a few with girls, and see what interests you.

What you shouldn't do is wait until you're 40, married, with three kids to figure out "hey.. I like men, fuck you, bitchwife, I want a divorce!" That's not fair to anyone.

You may want to look into local LGBT groups, depending on how large a city you live in. When I was coming out, they were a fantastic resource. Just being able to hang out with other guys and girls that are going through the same shit was fantastic. There were a lot of questioning people that showed up, too.

Also, realize that the stereotypes you see from bigots about gay people are mostly unfounded. Not all of us are whores, not all of us have STDs, not all of us have a lisp, not all of us enjoy pride events, not all of us hit bars and clubs every weekend. Most of us are pretty god-damned normal folk.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm also 16 years old and I'm gay. I know how you feel, but trying to change yourself won't work. It'll only make you feel like shit when you can't start liking girls and stop liking guys. Also, fuck everything you hear about how being gay is a sin, or unnatural, and other stuff like that. It's bullshit. Eventually you'll discover who you are. I'm sorry you grew up where people are so ignorant and make you feel inferior. I don't really have any questions, but I'll listen to what you have to say and maybe have advice if you're interested. If not then it's still nice to have someone to talk to and make you feel a little less alone in your situation.

[–]Epicwarren 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pretty sure this is an AMA guys, not a "give this boy advice he never requested" thread.

[–]zombiegirl2010 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You are only 16, you have not trained yourself to be straight...you have trained yourself to be abstinent. Yeah, once the right guy comes along you will learn that you are still as gay as you ever were...and btw, it's NOTHING to be ashamed of.

[–]thegleaker 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I will take one for Reddit. I will stick my dick on you. You need to learn what denial is. I will help you.

[–]hypnoreddit 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Are you gay or something?

[–]thegleaker 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No, but I'm willing to show you that you are.

[–]hypnoreddit 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Should I call Chris Hansen? :)

[–]foxanon 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Too bad he's 16

[–]Gerbil_Juice 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Legal in most U.S. states.

[–]foxanon 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sure, but still; he's a kid.

[–]kihadat 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Unless you're under 18...you can have a seat over there.

[–]foxanon 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have no questions for you on the whole straight thing, as I've already been through living a straight life. It was horrible and I was always depressed and unhappy.

I hope you find happiness in whatever you do. Don't let anyone tell you how to run your life, it's completely not worth it. If you know you're gay and you don't want to be like that, do it. Don't be an anti-gay politician then cause one day you might slip up.

I do have a few questions for you though.

Have you lost your virginity yet?

Have you slept with any girls? Have you slept with any boys?

[–]hypnoreddit 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks. Why did you feel horrible though? Didn't you feel any sense of relief?

No I haven't. No and nope.

[–]foxanon 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because I was trying to like girls. I failed so hard at getting a girlfriend. Being with females was the most awkward thing in the entire world. I thought everyone felt like this. I didn't feel complete relief from my entire repression until this summer when I recalled on my repressed memories and figured out why I drove myself into this. I remember crying telling this boy who I was crushing over that "I wasn't supposed to be like this" and "why me."

I felt relief the moment I came out. When I came out my parents scared the living shit out of me. They pretty much said get out of the house I'm changing the locks, or stop being gay. Then during the same week I learned I was getting let go from work. I tried to look up about it, but I couldn't. I left work in tears, and while I was walking toward the gate for my dad to come pick me up I almost stepped infront of a HMMWV leading a military convoy. The whole straight thing works kinda. But you're just delaying the inevitable. Your parents will come around or they won't be a part of your life. Trust me they'll come around once you're not on they're bank roll. They'll realize that their unconditional hate isn't worth never seeing their son again. Least that's how my parents took it.

[–]NastyBigPointyTeeth 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Being around females can be awkward even if you love the boobies, believe me, I know.

[–]foxanon 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Certainly. But I felt awkwardness when I tried hitting on them even holding their hands. Being their friend was easy as hell. I love females. I love them as friends. Straight men cannot have a conversation and understand emotions whatsoever. Well at least the straight men I know.

[–]NastyBigPointyTeeth 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

WHAT DO YOU MEAN STRAIGHT MEN CAN HAVE A CONV....oh wait, ya you are right :(

[–]asscobra 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh we can. We just dont give a fuck about them.

[–]scrash 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

what happens do your dick if you visit this subreddit

[–]karnim 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS SUBREDDIT?! You've made a gay man happy. Thank you.

[–]foxanon 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah I just discovered it too.

[–]foxanon 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

tingles and jingles lol

[–]hypnoreddit 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's just a bunch of guys - nothing is happening right now.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

OK, what happens when you visit this subreddit

[–]hypnoreddit 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I spent a couple minutes just now looking at the pics. They look really in shape, but that's about it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Do you think then that you are not gay any more? Though you don't have sexual feelings for men, it seems that you have none for women either, which would help define you more as straight.

I'm not trying to challenge or troll you - I've upvoted this and am genuinely interested

[–]hypnoreddit 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I used to have feelings for some guys. I used to jerk off to gay porn though. It's still hard to tell, really. Maybe in the next couple of months I'll have a better sense of awareness.

[–]NastyBigPointyTeeth 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What do you jeck off to now?

[–]matkustaja 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Don't grow up to be this guy

[–]psychonavigator 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Your sexual identity is not something you should struggle with. It's a defined core of who you are, and there's nothing wrong with having choices contrary to the choices your parents made.

Either you're gay, or you're not, or somewhere happily in between. You've got the rest of the world you have to fight with, why waste your time fighting with what's inside of you?

Man, don't fuck around wasting your time trying to be something for someone because they expect you to. Do what feels good, and do it again just because you can.

[–]vjarnot 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Now how about some training in English?

[–]blindingstars 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A straight life? Why not just a regular life?

Who you're attracted to and who you want to fuck is no business of your parents, family, relatives, or friends; really, it only concerns you, the people you're interested in, and the people who are interested in you. Like who and what you want. I wouldn't start hating strawberries because one of my friends doesn't like them.

I know it's a bit of a glimpse into the future, but do you plan on going out of state for college? If you were in a more liberal area, do you think you'd "go back to" being gay?

[–]scuzzman 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It may or may not have been Dr. Seuss (Wikipedia is confused about this) but the quote is just as relevant:

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

[–]chaosbound 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Don't do this to yourself man. I understand that you don't want to "hurt" your family, but you are going to do much more harm to your own psyche if you don't learn how to accept, and love yourself for who you are. Trust me on this one. if you can't come out now, and in your current situation, I don't blame you, then college will be your time to figure this out for yourself. It's okay to be gay, it really is. But living a lie, just to please others, that's never okay.

[–]zombiegirl2010 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If it were really possible to do what you claim to have done, then any straight male could convince himself/train himself to be gay. Sounds crazy huh? Cuz it is.

[–]popemichaeljackson 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No you didn't.

[–]kthehun89 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

why do you hate yourself?

[–]hypnoreddit 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I've been brought up to like women but for some reason couldn't. I've taken so much abuse in my teenage years that I was almost kicked out of my home for it. Parents took me to some alternative doctors and so far I've been okay.

I don't seem to be attracted to women yet, but I'm not feeling anything towards guys anymore either.

[–]Biskmatar 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well now it seems you're not attracted to anyone. Why didn't you just go with what worked for you? Screw what everyone else says, it's your life.

[–]hypnoreddit 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Feeling of acceptance from my family takes priority over my own needs I guess.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What about when your family's gone and you have no one?

[–]hypnoreddit 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Haven't thought that far ahead.

[–]ObjectiveGopher 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's stupid. Sorry for the bluntness, I really do sympathize with what you're going through, but goddammit you need to get this figured out. Don't set off on this road without thinking it through, you'll ruin your life. It's obvious from what you've said that you are gay, that's who you are and all that's happened is some bullshit "alternative doctors" have brainwashed you into denying yourself. Please please consider just stopping this stupid treatment and embrace yourself for who you are, not what they're trying to make you. Whatever you do with your life though, good luck, I hope everything works out.

[–]foxanon 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I used to be just like you. Now I don't care. My parents accept me for being gay whether they like it or not. It's more of a if they want me to share my life with them they'll respect me on who I am. I come from a family of homophobes.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

sad.

[–]Biskmatar 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's an interesting sentiment, just from the perspective of not having thought about it that way before. Can I hear a bit of your background/lifestyle growing up? I'm interested to see what would cause someone to abandon their own identity for the greater morals of their family.

[–]hypnoreddit 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have a catholic upbringing and I love my parents a lot. My heart was broken the night my mom panicked into tears and I felt that something was really wrong with me.

I guess it basically comes down to the fact that I don't want to selfishly give into my own desires and hurt my family and relationships with them in the process. I love my family deeply and would hate to be the reason for breaking them apart.

[–]absolutebeginners 42 points43 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You are not selfish, they are.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is so depressing to read.

[–]Biskmatar 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ah, that clears a lot of it up. Thank you for the response!

[–]ruby_red 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

they should have the heart to love you as much as you love them. UNCONDITIONALLY. they should be sorry for breaking YOU apart. shame on them for making you feel like you are wrong for being who you are.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ah yes good ol catholics. because the priest are so against it. no wait they are physically against the butts of alter boys whenever they can.

grew up catholic. i think it is in those little wafers of guilt they feed you. i am recovering now. so will you one day when you can find your identity without your controlling mother tsk tsk'ing your every breath.

[–]rmuser 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why are you living your life for someone else - someone who would just as easily toss you aside for not conforming to their prejudices?

[–]porkmaster 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

if you loved chocolate ice cream and got bitch-slapped up-side the head every time you had some, you'd know the consequence of eating it and stop thinking about it. that doesn't mean you really don't like it. you don't like the shit you have to deal with BECAUSE you like it. just play it straight until you get off to college. find out the truth about yourself then, but don't tell your parents until you've graduated. what your parents have done is child abuse, in my opinion.

[–]RexManningDay 0 points1 point ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nicely put. That's pretty much what I was thinking about this too. Desperately trying not to think about guys isn't the same as being straight. That said, I was the king of self hating gay guys in my teens, but I never quite managed to convince myself that guys weren't more attractive than girls.

I did manage to convince myself for a while I just didn't like sex with either gender though. I had never even seen gay porn or kissed a guy, so I could delude myself that I wouldn't enjoy it any more with someone I was actually into than I did with my girlfriend.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]kthehun89 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was leaning towards the "being homosexual is who you are, and if you hate homosexuality then you hate yourself", but that works too...

[–]retnemmoc 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]porkmaster 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yeah. i thought that too. but it's so realistic that even if it is a troll, there's thousands of guys out there who are just like the OP, troll or not.

[–]funkyorca 1 point2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I see two mutually exclusive possibilities here:

1) You were never actually gay.

2) You're an idiot.

edit: 3) You're lying not only to us but also yourself.

[–]interestedprivate 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I am a hot guy and want to give you NSA blowjob right now...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why did you feel you had to attempt this change?

Have you looked at statistics regarding what happens when people try to "de-gay?" Do you think you will ultimately be what you would term successful in staying this way?

Are you truly happy with who you are? If yes, then what made you unhappy with who you were before?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How old are you? You say you did this because of your family, relatives, and "friends" (they're not your real friends if they turned on you for being gay). Do you plan on living with these people for the rest of your life?

[–]pisky 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Could you elaborate on the hypnotherapy? I know psychiatrists are not allowed to try and "teach" a patient to be straight.

[–]huxtiblejones 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If your family won't accept you for who you are, leave them behind. If they never accept you, don't even shed a tear, they are not people who truly care about your well being if that is the case. You must do what you can to be happy, life ends shorter than any of us realize.

Please, man, be who you are. Do not live in repression.

[–]UFOabductee 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you try to hide feelings from yourself, they will eventually come back later in ways you can't predict.

It would be easier for yourself in the long run if you accept your feelings now. It will only be more difficult later.

[–]ShreddyZ 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you can, try to go to a college in a large city/a large college/a generally more liberal college. Once you've been exposed to more people who are openly gay and happy with themselves, you should be more able to figure out for yourself who you are. If a school doesn't have a healthy gay community, then college won't help you much.

[–]matkustaja 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can you describe the hypnotherapy?

Did they equate gay sexual activity with bad things so you have an unpleasant feeling if you think of it?

[–]bitterend 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Have you talked to anyone outside of the of people mentioned above about this - such as a school counselor or teacher?

[–]lb-Cyber 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I wish other people would be a bit more delicate in the comments, but I suppose I understand their issue... and I understand yours, because I've been there.

At about your age, the notion of my being gay had begun to trace its way into my mind. I hated the idea. I hated the thoughts. I hated, to a very real extent, myself... and I'm one of the lucky ones: My family is fairly progressive and I'm sure would be able to handle the fact given time, but there's something else to handling this identity. Whether your family and social circles are accepting or not, there remains a very loud voice in your mind, especially when you're young, that this isn't normal. You begin to believe that something's wrong with you, that you're not meant to be this way and that it will be fixed. You comfort yourself by imagining a future image of yourself with a loving wife, cradling a child and living a "normal" familial life.

But it's a façade, and as you develop into who you are you're still stuck with the perceived problem, and are presented with a choice: Continue believing yourself to be faulty, something that can and should be mended, or come to terms with who you've grown to be.

I understand the terror, because in many ways I'm still there. I'm still too terrified to reveal myself to my family. It absolutely isn't easy, and in this struggle to understand yourself, you can absolutely come up with unusual caveats.

I don't say this in arrogance, but you're still young, and you still have plenty of time to figure it out on your own. Remember that even if someone you know or love may hate you for who you are, don't let that someone be you. Fighting yourself is a nasty affair; Whether you decidedly win or lose, you're still defeated.

And as a piece of practical advice, if you do one day understand yourself to be gay, don't panic, and don't feel forced to leave the closet until you are ready. If anything, avoid telling your family until you're an independent.

Best of luck to you.

[–]woody_woodpacker 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What do you think of Justin Bieber and President Obama?

[–]hypnoreddit 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They're both in the public eye.

[–]GlitterBerri 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Also, you're young. You don't have to identify as anything right now. Just see what the future brings, and understand that many people think your family is wrong to condemn homosexuality. If they love you, they'll accept you as you are, whatever that turns out to be.

[–]huginn 0 points1 point ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I hate to say this,

but given the situation he's in. Even by faking it, not coming out, suppressing it, might be the best option for him. He's still young and still under rule of house. It's not something your average boy can do. Live under constant worry of being kicked out of the house or even live on your own. I know I wasn't ready til I was older.

I really hate to say it.

[–]fsckit 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I suggest you refer your parents to a psychiatrist.

[–]Someoneoldbutnew 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How do you go about living the straight life when you have feelings for men?

[–]justonemorecontract 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How is your overall relationship with you father? Your mother? Do you have any older brothers?

[–]NavigatorZa 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this kid is 16yr and thinks that training himself to be straight in the south is happiness lmao

[–]periphery72271 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

First things first, right now, it's all good. You're 16, and the magic switch inside your head hasn't been turned on yet.

This is not a bad thing. So you've shut a part of yourself down, that may or may not be critical to your love life. Only you'll ever know the truth.

But let me say this. The mental gymnastics you did to get where you are won't hold you off forever. Humans are born to be loved, and you mind, body and heart will seek out both love and sex in some way sooner or later.

Just promise yourself that when the switch turns on, and you become a fully sexual and love seeking person you'll follow your true heart.

Even if that leads to men.

Because that repression, that iron hard lock you've put on yourself? Even while you're sitting here smiling it's doing twisted things to your head. You won't believe me, because you're sixteen, you know everything about yourself already. But repression can and will cause everything from heartbreak to psychosis, and some of the worst start just this way.

Positive and healthy desires get twisted and rotted in the dark, and you've shut off a major part of your psyche in a dark hole. You'll be seeing it later, creeping out of the closet on it's own, and you may not have so much control of it then.

So that's my question for you. If you feel your homosexuality or bisexuality coming back, will you at least give it some time in the light of day?

[–]quish 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I just wanted to say good luck. I truly wish that you have a chance to truly become yourself- whoever that is, without feeling as though you need to change for anyone else.

That being said, I understand why you want to. But I also think that you need to try to remember that you are living your life for yourself. This is your life. You only get one. You should not spend it hiding from who you are.

[–]Petrus123 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Straight Dave!

What is your opinion on gays now?

[–]jasenlee 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]sdlvx 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I went through the same kind of thing you did. Only I did it to myself because I wouldn't accept myself as a homo.

It made me depressed, angry, and bitter. It also made me hate myself.

I'm not saying you're one thing or the other, but the day you realize that everyone else is stupid and you should do what you want to do to make yourself feel good, is the day you'll feel like a brand new person.

You took the easy way out. Some day you will probably end up hating your family. I hope you get out of where you are and you find yourself. I went to school in Boston and walking through the Boston Commons it'd be pretty rare not find a gay couple. If someone said anything, everyone else would stand up for the gays.

The world is not how your parents tell you. it is not absolute. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you don't go through the horrific phase of self hatred and anger I went through by doing the same thing you did.

And just so you're aware, I went through it about 13-16. It really fucked me up.

[–]Gozdilla 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It doesn't really sound like you're straight, just asexual. As one of the straight men, I can safely say you have to up your game to be at our level. You can't just not be gay. You have to think terrible, disgusting things about women you pass by in public. At the very least, when you see a girl who is looking really good, you have to think to yourself, "Dayum!" Otherwise, it's obvious you're just repressing your homosexuality, which is bad for you. I'm sorry you live in such a homohostile environment.

[–]interestingidea 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Did you get any shit before you got caught with porn?

After reading all this it sounds like you're just sexually traumatized from the abuse you got when people found out you were gay. Like your mind associates liking guys with "go suck a dick faggot" (trust me, I've heard it). Kiiiiiind of a problem. I gotta say, being 16/gay myself, I can understand why you'd want acceptance from your peers and family, especially since you live in a place where there is almost no one you could trust if you were out (or at least that's what it sounds like).

My advice: go to a liberal (not bible thumping) college up north FAR away from where you live now and try some guys there, I'm sure there will be a few. Oh, and you may want or need a psychiatrist later in life. Not to be rude, but these are huge issues nobody should have to go through. You should be able to talk about them to someone who won't judge you, and will give you honest advice.

[–]pyxlated 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You know, it's probably cheaper and healthier to just move away from the south.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]hypnoreddit 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Couldn't really care less what you think. I'm just sharing my story here, and I'd appreciate some common decency.

[–]absolutebeginners 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't think you understood the question, lutefisk was asking what it feels like to constantly lie to yourself?