Homophobia in the gym

fallentree · 4 months

Just do your thing. Listen to headphones and get in and get out. Just be friendly if you're approached. Fuck the haters.

BrianFlanagan · 4 months

Sucks. Unfortunately the small town mentality is stuck in the old way of fighting change every inch. Toss in your headphones, do your thing and try not to let it bother you. Usually the longer you're in that environment, the less they'll bother you.

Maybe try using this as motivation. A personal "fuck you" to the ignorant meatheads at your gym. Small town people dislike gays on principle, but they also tend to respect hard work and personal strength. Go there and give'r all you can. It can't hurt, might get you some respect around the gym. Or at least a good work out.

Italia5239 · 4 months

Yikes. Sounds like a bad situation.

What made these guys initiate the issues anyway? What gave them knowledge of your sexual preference? (Not that it's any of their business anyway.)

Puppy34 · 4 months

At my gym, the gays ARE those guys!

Gabe_b · 4 months

Shitty.
The fact they'd try and talk to the management is fucked up. I'd consider doing the same thing yourself. Either that or just stick to the Headphones, coffee and a program method and let them be dumbass crackers to their heart's content.

null-byte · 4 months

Wait, so not everybody is polite in Canada?

Gimli_The_Dwarf · 4 months

I wouldn't try to read into the "why" of what's behind the animosity - we're a complex being, and everyone could have their own reasons (actual disgust, fear, latent tendencies, in the closet, simple bullying, etc) and it's all in a miasma of peer pressure.

The best thing to do is to ignore low-level stuff, just be yourself in a social environment, don't "invent" offense, and if you can read people, try to play it into a joke (again, careful - this is dangerous if you offend the wrong people - more on that later). If you think you can crack the ice with it, if you catch a slightly homophobic comment, you could always go with something like "Wait - I was told naked guys shower together here. Am I at the wrong bar?" etc.

SAFETY It turns my stomach to have to write this, but be careful. Hate crimes are real, as you're obviously aware. While you shouldn't live in fear, there is nothing wrong with being prepared. Know how to speed dial 911 on your cell phone, and make sure the e911 thing is turned on (sends your GPS to the 911 operator).

Get a 4 D-cell Maglite flashlight, put batteries in it, and keep it in your car. First of all, you should always have a flashlight in your car. Secondly, it makes a vicious club that you can't be arrested for owning.

Always be aware of your surroundings.

Best defense - make friends. Build friendships. Get to know coworkers, or folks at the gym, or neighbors, or whatever. Hang out - go to the bar with them, watch or play sports on the weekends, whatever.

It's emotionally healing. You won't feel as alone.
People with friends aren't as "weird" as people without friends.
As time goes on, your friends will stand up for you. Rumors about "the fairy" will get stopped pretty quickly (rumors are like wildfires, and having a social network is like laying firebreaks)
You'll have folks to rely on if you do get in trouble.

Hate to sound so coldly pragmatic about having friends, but if you're an introvert it might take that extra push of enlightened self-interest to get to you break out of your shell.

Sorry that people suck - try not to let the bastards wear you down. And, of course, my axe.

chugotit · 4 months

You said it's a nonprofit. Request time from the executive director or manager to come to their next board meeting. Ask for 5 minutes to present your issue and to get a confirmation that the gym is open to all, regardless of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. If they affirm it is open to all, then ask how they can help ensure you are able to use the gym without having to put up with intimidation or discrimination. In other words, get the boards' ear and help make them own solving the problem.

FiveSix · 4 months

Let me first say I imagine this sucks for you. And I am not about to defend these d-bags.

Is it possible they are not talking about you? I worked with some really rough blue collar guys and everything was "gay" this, "faggy" that, you "homo" and what not. That was on the West Coast and I imagine up North would be even more intense.

As a former fat dude, at my fattest I thought anytime someone said "Fat ass," "chubby" or similar I assumed they were talking about me.

Have you tried /r/lgbt for advice?

dezhang · 4 months

Well, you could go at a different time. Unless they're there every single hour of the day. Although it's not solving the entire problem, it's fixes your need to get a workout.

But I totally agree with speaking to the management. If the management's homophobic, I say screw them, move to another gym or get your own power rack.

phrakture · 4 months

Um, you'll have to read the situation a bit, but I'd say the standard bully advice applies - stand up to them.

In case you haven't been around "manly men" before, chiding each other is a sign of... camaraderie in a way. I don't want to say "make fun of them", but in a way... I do. If someone says "Oh, I'm not showering with the homo lookin", then I'd smirk and say "Sorry, you're not my type. Too short" or some shit like that.

Now don't just run with my advice. I don't know these guys, and who knows - they could take it the wrong way and punch you... but it's likely that won't happen. Guys that have never been around gay guys react funny. There's a lot of gay innuendo that happens among men. Shit, over in FCJ people post pictures of their asses and try to get all the other dudes to look at them.

I'm rambling at this point... going in circles. I just wanted to say: they're probably just "scared" in a way and standing up to them, slowly at first, might be better for all parties

Sprinter_Eight_Six · 4 months

At least one of these guys is projecting his closet rage on you, Kingsmere.

Sucks that you have to go through this, but passivity will probably be taken as permission to keep escalating. Past the good advice that's already been offered, I'd suggest you tell them in a firm but non-confrontational way that you've got a gym card just like theirs, you're keeping to yourself while you exercise and stay healthy, and it wouldn't be any skin off their noses to do the same.

Edit: Noses.

gburron · 4 months

One gay man to another, what did you expect? Small town northern Canada was inevitably going to be a bit of a challenge to work your way around. It sounds like you're relatively new to town so it may just take a while for the town to get used to you at which point they'll simply ignore you until that happens you may have to tough out the annoying for a bit.

Ignore them as best you can and just focus on your goals; they're irrelevant in the long run anyway.

Whisper · 4 months

Sounds like you both have issues.

These guys sound like they're bigots who have a problem with homosexuals, or anyone too different from them.

You sound you have issues with people being masculine:

A lot of testosterone and a small town mentality is a little off putting...

and don't feel like you have an obligation to have/show courage:

scary and make mean gay jokes. I don't like this because it's mean and I don't like being uncomfortable nor making others uncomfortable.

Now, I don't know if you're gay or not, and it doesn't matter. What is being expected of you isn't to be straight, it's to show courage.

You don't seem very comfortable with the idea of masculinity, and almost seem to think of testosterone as some sort of dangerous poison that makes people crazy. Seeing that kind of misandry from a man is kind of sad.

But what may be going on is that you are being hazed... given an opportunity to show courage and perseverance and earn their respect. What I think would be best is not to let this beat you. Use it to make you stronger. Go in and work like hell just to spite them. Show them they can't break you, and they will gradually start to think of you as a stand-up kind of guy, and the attitudes will do a complete 180.

I know these kind of guys. I am one of these kind of guys. Show some guts, and they'll respect you and leave you alone. You might learn something, and teach them something as well.

TheCosmicOsmo · 4 months

I'm a member of a pretty large gym. I'm by no means a homophobe, and have several gay friends, but I do admit that when I'm there on a busy afternoon and there's three flamers making obvious extended eye contact with me it gets a little obnoxious/uncomfortable. As long as you're not doing this, then I see no reason why the meathead-assholes at your gym should care one way or the other about you - so I'm going to follow what most of the others have advised and say get some headphones and a drink bottle and focus on your workout. If the environment is still uncomfortable after a few visits then consult the management.

If things still don't improve - try the other gym. Dated equipment should not be a deterrent - in fact I tend to favor older gyms since their equipment is usually bomber build quality and includes plenty of bodybuilding staples (benches, freeweights and the like) rather than 5 different machines just to work your inner thighs and lower back...

Best of luck whatever happens - I suffer from a lot of mental health issues and the gym is literally my savior some days, so if I were in your shoes I would be very bummed.

jstaahl · 4 months

So hang on, I thought gays were used to the atmosphere of a hetero-male dominated environment such as the locker rooms or the sports pub, where guys should profanity and gay slur around like it was beer or weights?

My point is, while it shouldn't ideally be like that, it is like that I'm sure you've met this kind of attitude before? How did you manage it then?

Where I'm from they say about 1/10 is gay, meaning that whenever I'm taking a shower at the gym there is about 2.25 gay men seeing my penis, big whoopdidoo.

I just imagine that's the unspoken balance in the locker rooms that the gays ignore the occasional gay comment tossed around by the bros towards each other and anyone in general, and the heteros don't freak out because there is a gay man in our midst?

Now, rereading up on it, are they directing it directly towards you? Have them warned by the management, tell them in no short terms to deal with it and shut up. If they're just bros being bros going "ah dude, that shit on UFC last night was just so gay!" then ignore it, amirite?

zau64 · 4 months

Just act like it isn't a big deal. They probably don't feel comfortable because you are something "new" to them. They probably have an entirely wrong idea about gays. Just mind your own business and they will eventually get used to your presence. If they decide to directly make remarks don't take it to heart and maybe even laugh at one of their jokes if it happens to be a bit funny.
If you let it get to you and get on the defensive, then you invite them to be on the offensive.

bdsisme · 4 months

Sleep with their girlfriends (even if you're gay); that'll shut 'em up.

MFingPterodactyl · 4 months

My heart goes out to you. That really, really sucks. I'd second the headphones-and-ignore-them suggestion, but I have a few more additional suggestions.

Just take a look at the other smaller gym. It might be better, it might be worse, but it's really good to know your options. There's no shame in wanting to work out somewhere that isn't full of douchebags.

Maybe talk to the management? This could go a lot of ways. I'll share my anecdote:

I'm a woman that works out in a grungy warehouse powerlifting gym in a low-income area of town. 90% of the people there are really nice to me, but there's this one group of guys that was really hostile. One of them, literally the largest man I have ever met, used to shout personal questions at me about my relationship status across the room, tell me to deadlift naked, and call me "Future Wife". When that stopped getting a response, he'd get right up close next to me while I was deadlifting, so I'd have to either drop the loaded bar on the ground from the top of the lift, or push my butt into his crotch in order to put it down. For a while, I avoided going when my coach wasn't there. But then when we were at a competition, all the women got to talking about this guy. It came out that he was like that to all the women there, none of us liked it, and he made us all really uncomfortable. When he went a little too far, my coach yelled at him and reported him to management. The owner kicked him out of the gym and said he could only come back if he personally apologized to both me and the other woman he was being an asshole to. Well, he never did. And now he just glares at us from across the room and the owner of the gym keeps asking us if he apologized and keeps yelling at him for not apologizing and we don't want to make it a big deal because we're afraid he's just going to be worse.

So on one side, at least now we have the owner on our side, and he isn't being a gigantic tool all the time. On the other side, the gym is tense.

So, long, long, long story short: Try the headphones and scope out the other gym just in case. If that doesn't work out for you, it might be a good idea to go to management, or even to talk to some other people that work out there. Chances are, you're not the only one they're being assholes to. It'll be way better if you have people on your side. Worst that happens, nothing gets better, and you go to the other gym.

US_Ranger · 4 months

Someone has to ask:

Have you made them uncomfortable? I don't mean uncomfortable because you're gay but uncomfortable because you're semi-flirty with them? There are a few gay guys at the gym where I work out and one has a tendency to sit around in the locker room and then "magically" start to get naked when I'm in there getting my stuff out of the locker. He'll then ask me random questions that have nothing to do with anything.

I'm assuming you're not doing this but I figure I'd ask to help clear it up. Even things that might seem innocent to you might come off as creepy to people who aren't used to being flirted with by other men. Luckily I worked in a night club so I'm used to gay attention (completely straight myself) but I notice some people don't like it very much.

[deleted] · 4 months

Get big fast so you can whomp on them boys. /jk I don't know man. That sucks. If you don't feel like you're in danger, then just keep going. Maybe they'll eventually see that you're just a dude, not an alien and stop being so ignorant. Definitely watch out, but try and let it roll off your back. Try not to let it get in the way of your goals!

MagicTarPitRide · 4 months

Sucks man, the strongest and scariest looking dudes at my gym are super-duper gay. Making a homophobic remark would be a pretty scary thing to try... then again I live in LA.
If you've got a great job and hate the dudes in your gym why not just buy a power rack for your house. That's really all you need to get huge.

crimsonslide · 4 months

Someone else mentioned to some over weight lifters that going in the morning before 8AM avoids the idiot crowd as everyone there at that time of the morning is there to get their work out done and get out of there.

ShamefulCrane · 4 months

Ignore it. Headphones and read a magazine between sets.

newmansg · 4 months

They're fucking assholes, and someone should stand up to them. But please place your well-being first and consider another gym if these idiots seem like they are capable of violence. Besides, all you really need is a bench, barbell and weights to fulfill all your needs.

SriLanka · 4 months

Canada?!?!?

mattseanbachman · 4 months

I remember a situation similar to yours years back when I first started lifting. I felt as if I didn't fit in, that people were looking at and/or talking about me.

First, make sure these things aren't the creation of your own mind; I work a blue-collar job wherein gay jokes are cracked all the time...I don't like it, but I'm just one man and I can't change the fact that many people choose to be ignorant.

That said, if they're making fun of you--people are going to downvote me for this probably--I'd call them out on it. There's a number of different ways you can go about this, but the point is is that people who let themselves get walked on, get walked on.

This applies even if they've each got fifty pounds on you; I wouldn't necessarily say you need to fight these guys in the process, but it sounds like they might need an ass kicking from someone. The worst thing that can happen to you is you got beat up by people who are bigger than you; the worst thing that can happen to them is probably far worse in their eyes...they all got beat up by a much smaller homosexual. :D

All in all though, I would ignore it (if you can). If you can't, confront them openly about it, but be prepared to fight.

swimbekoz · 4 months

Serious question time and forgive me if I offend you...

Do you have a creeper stare and/or lurk around the showers?

AgentJohnson · 4 months

Your tldr is just as long as your main. New gay stereotype?

Laytnor · 4 months

If they'd only make gay jokes, I wouldn't see any problem here, only white knights would, however, If they can't shut their mouths about you personally, you should talk to management, thats not only disrespectful, but it also shows what kind of scumbags they are.

Frankeh · 4 months

How do they know you're gay?

WTFRAWL · 4 months

Be the nicest person ever to them, make them feel like assholes and continue doing what you do.

Kingsmere · 4 months

[deleted]

yate · 4 months

how do they know you're gay?

GeoM56 · 4 months

How do they know you are gay?

ColonelFlashman · 4 months

Are you gay?

jimibulgin · 4 months

Next time he's at the bottom of a heavy squat, grab his sack, and whisper in his ear, "don't...fuck...with...meeeeeee...."

Moshiach · 4 months

They want to fuck.

hans1193 · 4 months

Probably nothing to worry about, meatheads are gonna be meatheads. I really really doubt that you need to be concerned for your safety. Put on some headphones and do your thing.

[deleted] · 4 months

I don't have much to offer that Gabe and phrakture haven't already said, but don't give up gymming! As a fellow small dude (130 lbs @ 5'7"), my plan is to just keep lifting until I'm stronger than most of the other gym bros- the size will follow.

Agent9262 · 4 months

Try and make friends with some people there. I hope it gets better for you!

brahtat · 4 months

"let your haters become your motivators" fuck those guys dude.

pohatu · 4 months

This is probably bad advice, depending on the situation, but you might try befriending them.

Optionally, once you get to know them, find the weakest of the bunch, the one the others rip on the most, and join in the dogpile.

Or just bro it up in other ways, talking about hockey it whatever.

Unicornmayo · 4 months

Congrats on moving to Fort Mac (sorry for making an assumption, let me know if it's incorrect). Unfortunately, there's not much to do except pop in headphones and ignore them, talk to management, or provide some cutting remarks. Each has its own problems.

I'm in favor of the ignore them personally.

Or, actually here's an idea. Can you adjust your work out schedule?

Kasseev · 4 months

I really don't know how bad it is there but please heed your instincts if you feel in danger or afraid. Even if it is a totally irrational fear - trust it and get out. Get out of there or get a spotter/buddy to go with you if you feel uncomfortable.

captainhamster · 4 months

I think perhaps your awesomeness has made them uncomfortable with themselves and they are now forced to face the reality that they´re, for lack of a better term, a bunch of tossers.

sgtredred · 4 months

Humans are animals. You are the new male on their established small-minded "turf". Yes, be cautious. You might not need a rape whistle, but be aware and alert. Walk out to your car with other people, diffuse tension with humor, that kind of thing.

You could try to find a way to break down their wolf pack walls by asking for help: ask what kind of routine they're doing to get so bulky, or how a "scrawny guy like you" can put on bulk. People like to be heros, especially when asked. Otherwise, well, I exercise at home now instead of a gym, but you can always let the management know that they're losing money, a customer, and any positive referrals.

Mercurio55 · 4 months

Cross post this to the LGBT forum, you may find some additonal allies..

_shift · 4 months

Why do I feel like every problem I read about on the internet can be solved by boldly telling the offending party to fuck off? Seriously, it's my answer for everything.

eb11b · 4 months

Look on the bright side. They will never ask you to give them a spot!

Screw these guys. Just do your workout and get out. Every gym has these assholes.

frostek · 4 months

I've always thought that guys who go on and on about gay people are just curiously... defensive to my mind.

I mean why would it matter to anyone? As far as I'm concerned gayness and straightness is utterly inconsequential 99% of the time

Just saying!

BruteEpaise · 4 months

Canada doesn't have freedom speech, gay comments could have legal consequences for those peoples.

Check this out

I'd also bet that those peoples are insecure about their own sexuality.

vastad · 4 months

Will this work?: If management agree to the suggestion you are asked to leave, ask that all your accusers be present in a meeting with said management. Bring in a representative from your equivalent of the ACLU, not an equivalent LGBT org. Then tell management you are happy to leave if all of you, including yourself, submit to an interview with a psychologist who specialises in sexuality. Don't call it a "gay test" (because there is no such thing really), just hint at it. Watch the room get very very silent. He who smelt it, dealt it and all that...

Missionary · 4 months

That's not testosterone, it's bigotry. If it gets to a point where they try to bully you, let them know you dont want any trouble, but you will get the authorities and local news involved if you have to. Dont quit, that's what they want. Keep going and become a regular. Fuck thosr douche bags.

Edit: whatever happens dont get into a fight. Try to get to safety if it comes to that.

dylanfarnum · 4 months

http://youtu.be/wXw6znXPfy4

How do you make it to adulthood as a gay man and not know how to deal with bullies at this point? I would have thought you would have had plenty of practice by now.

Talk to the management and get the harassment documented.

[deleted] · 4 months

And in today's new, insecure gym rats are homophobic.

kookyyoshiro · 4 months

Fuck 'em. Work on getting jacked as hell and don't worry about it. I work out at a gym where the majority of members are gay. I've seen some huge men who I doubt anyone would crack jokes about.

Rejexted · 4 months

Well, are you actually gay or are they assuming that about you because of your physique? Do they know of you (hence the reason why they would know you're gay)?

[deleted] · 4 months

If they keep it up talk to the police. The RCMP police the northern communities so you won't get a local boy who won't bust his buddies.

Senkei · 4 months

Wear headphones and all of these useless problems go away...

greenbeancasserole · 4 months

What sort of attire are you wearing to the gym? If you are wearing leotards with nylons or something like that, try going in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Otherwise, ignore the haters and do your thing.

bannana · 4 months

Did you also post this in /r/lgbt? You didn't mention your sexual orientation so that might not be the right place but regardless they will have a ton of good advice for dealing with these situations.

FatStig · 4 months

I suspect none even know you are gay.

sempire · 4 months

You need to murder one meathead to prove a point and everyone else will back off.

xanthine_junkie · 4 months

have you tried approaching them (singly if you are uncomfortable) and asking them for a bit of advice?

'hey, should my posture be ...'

'what do you think of this supplement..'

etc..

tell them your goals, let slip you are aware of your slight frame and why you are working on improving your physique. at one time, they were likely skinny kids too.

never hurts to compliment them in some small way, innocoulously -- and let them know you are just another guy at the gym.

insecurity on their part makes them band and boast and belittle, insecurity on your part is stopping you from showing them who you are and that you are valued and normal and human.

brenwolf · 4 months

Calling it now: This is a troll thread. All the past threads where the management asks people to leave the gym winds up being troll threads. Also this is OP's first post. Let's see how this thread lays out...

mrtim · 4 months

They sound like 12 year olds from XBOX live. They don't sound like they're worth worrying about.

bonestamp · 4 months

I can imagine it's a pretty intimidating situation. Once people get to know someone that they're afraid of (for whatever reason) and they find out they have nothing to fear then they're a lot more tolerable.

If you can afford it, get a trainer who works at the gym for a few sessions. That will give you a professional opportunity to make a friend there... they won't be able to think you're talking to them because you want to hook up or something like that. Then at least one person will realize that you're a lot less different than they think and maybe even defend you to management. It'll be someone you can say hi to when you're there and talk to or get physical help from if things escalate.

isthistheinternet · 4 months

How do people know you're gay by how you work out?

CountStacula · 4 months

Next time the guy is benching, walk up and put a little extra pressure on the bar while having a little talk with him.

mdbx · 4 months

I don't understand how people can tell you're homosexual by the way you workout. Are you overly flamboyant or something?

ace0fskulls · 4 months

In the gyms I've been to, there have been three different environments but in general they tend to be rather homophobic or very masculine, it is why I made a home gym with some improvisation because I don't feel comfortable being in that environment knowing full well that some people will hate me simply because of my sexual orientation alone.

Gemini6Ice · 4 months

If other gym members are actively trying to make you uncomfortable, regardless of the reason (sexism, homophobia, scrawny-hating, bulky-hating, etc.), you have every right to speak to the management about this.

If you're afraid of them getting more aggressive after being told to stop (as is the case with douchebags often), I suggest making some "scary-muscle" friends at the gym who might speak up for you. "Dudes? Not cool. Cut it out, a'ight?"

acidvolt · 4 months

Fuck them (ok bad word choice considering the situation) *ignore
Let that serve as motivation (get bigger than them)
GET BIG
Be more intimidating than them.

aszl3j · 4 months

Do what I did. Say "Fuck You!" to the whole overpriced, overhyped, and scammy "fitness" industry and build a gym at home. I live in a small 1-bedroom apartment, and I just did it.

Bought an "olympic" barbell with weights for ~$200 + Squat Rack/Stand for $160 + some PVC mats to put underneath. Yeah, it takes up a bunch of space in my living room, but it will pay for itself in no time, and there is no excuses not to go to a gym now :D

I'm still missing a bench, but I figured I can do the Overhead Press in the meantime. I'm also going to have to be quiet, so no dropping weights or anything like that.

I was inspired to do this after seeing some Asian dude squatting in his even tinier apartment. I figured, if he can do it, so can I :).

My gym was fairly cheap, but with a matching clientele. Also, they did not have bumper plates, and gave me dirty looks/laughed when I was trying to deadlift or do barbell lows. They only know benching and scammy machines there. I realize that maybe I should have overcome my own insecurities and just put up with it, but I'd rather squat while barefoot and wearing trunks :D.

HonorableJudgeIto · 4 months

Ignoring them will only continue the situation. Two options (culled from another bully in a gym thread): 1) Confront them or 2) Talk to management.

I propose 1. Go up to one of them when his buddies aren't around and introduce yourself. Be friendly, but assertive and play it off like you just wanted to say hello. Make him see you as a regular guy.

2 may cause issues outside the gym, especially if they are friends with managment or are kicked out of the gym.

peeted · 4 months

Just out of interest, are you actually gay or is this just something they have assumed because you are not a huge hairy testosterone fueled dick?

JeebusWept · 4 months

Youre in a small working class town dude, it's banter. Bite back, give as good as you get.

MetalCricketMode · 4 months

to me this is odd because weight lifting is very male body centered and pretty god damn homo-erotic. i lift weights dont get me wrong, but come on.

Lastcaress09 · 4 months

When I was living in Toronto for awhile my neighbor was gay, he also happened to be a gym manager. He helped show me proper lifting techniques (was 16 at the time) and was one of the main reasons I can lift what I can today. This guy was built like an OX and was inspiration to continue to lift. I then moved to Thunder-bay which is also a small town, being a "City slicker" it took me awhile to get used to the customs and values. In the up there High school I met a kid who was openly gay and was ridiculed every day because of it. I stood up for him and eventually ended up helping him also start working out. I told him one of the ways to get back at the "bro's" is to fight fire with fire. The bullying stopped when he put on some size and could push more weight then them. Sorry for ranting but some shit really pisses me off and Homophobia is one of them. I guess at the end of it all you just gotta be an asshole back to them, Probably not the best idea but in my experience it is the only thing that works.

Got_Engineers · 4 months

Where exactly do you live? I will be working in Northern AB here soon and would be more then glad to tell people to fuck off.

nobody7 · 4 months

Just do leangains fasted BCAA training. The Adrenaline will make you quite short with people (acerbic) http://www.facebook.com/martinberkhan/posts/302917903077137

texx77 · 4 months

Just wanted to say this: The other day my socially-awkward self was in the gym just minding my own business with my headphones on, when a clearly gay male said something to me, just making small talk. I gave him a "bad poker face" smile and replied with something insignificant like "haha its all good" and then continued on. I realized later that I might have seen homophobic.

So if that was you, sorry, I'm not homophobic, just socially-awkward.

iammortalcombat · 4 months

Well the deal is this: Those guys making themselves loud enough for you to hear are actively performing sexual harassment. If you are afraid of confronting them directly I would start by asking to speak with the gym manager, explaining the situation and seeing if anything is done for you. If the gym refuses to help I would leave the gym (because clearly they do not support all of their customer's not because you shouldn't go), and find another gym. Chances are, these guys are either purely ignorant or closet gay themselves. According to my brother in-law (openly gay), most homophobes are gay themselves or "want to test drive dick, but don't know how to ask you." I thought this would be funny for you to mention, but I think that would do more harm than good.

I hope you find a solution to this problem! No one deserves to be bullied for being themself.

dongleberries · 4 months

Be fueled.

Motherfuckers will have no choice but to give respect once you start lifting heavier weights than those pussies.

The real weight lifters don't have that kind of attitude.

But you never know how shit can go real bad when people flip the fuck out for no apparent reason. So I say plug in your headphones and do your thing but always be mindful about your surrounding. It only takes one crack on the skull with a 70 lb dumbbell to get into coma.

I have personally experienced a few times when rude ass motherfuckers did some shit to me and it angered me but i said fuck it and kept doing my thing. I accept that there are assholes in this world and if i spend my time and energy being angry, it's only my loss so all I can do is to transform and become the best I can be. As long as I am happy with myself and what I do, I could give two shit about what anyone thinks about me.

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