Whats the best piece of advice your parents have ever gave you?

jessperk · 6 months

Don't lend money with the expectation of getting it back. From my grandpa.

deadketchup · 6 months

If you do something illegal, do it by yourself and don't tell anyone.

k2cougar · 6 months

Never say no in business. If you don't want to do something, jack up the price so it becomes worthwhile.

Put-Put · 6 months

Mum: Don't ever give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that they have upset you or they will know exactly how to do it again the next time.

TheLoyalOpposition · 6 months

"Don't shit where you eat."

Took some time to understand but eventually I got it.

thekittenskaboodle · 6 months

My dad once told me the night before my first day of fifth grade, "Just don't be a dick, dude." I thought it was cool that he swore in front of me and it has stuck with me forever.

TheAnnoyingLife · 6 months

My dad says "people can make their mouths say anything".

a_Leaf · 6 months

Dad: If you ever want to resolve a problem with someone, see the goodness in them first. You actually have to believe in their positive trait, even if it's only a small thing. Otherwise, don't talk with them; it's just a waste of time.

Herzogsteve · 6 months

"never offer to buy a girl a drink until you've been talking to her for a while. If she's really interested she'll talk to you regardless."

tiffmarie23 · 6 months

"If you feel sick, just throw up. You'll feel better." ~Mom

deanoplex · 6 months

Look at the people that you are hanging around with. THAT is what you will become.

I_am_the_cheese · 6 months

My grandpa: "Don't take yourself seriously. Trust me, nobody else is."

FAHQRudy · 6 months

I've answered this question before, but it still applies:

"Never give another driver the finger. You never know if he has a gun." -Dad

sarcasmama · 6 months

Lefty loosey, righty tighty.

makesureimjewish · 6 months

When an ex started dating my roommate I asked what I should do. All the roommates agreed long before that if one person had a problem with someone's guest, any one roommate could veto their staying at the house. I didn't want to be a jerk back to them by barring her from coming but I felt like I was at an impass.

The advice I got from my mom was

just be fucking someone with bigger tits when she's at your house

ohsweetmoses · 6 months

"Son, one day you're gonna meet a girl who is so amazing, you'll forget to look at her tits. Marry that girl!"

Calmiche · 6 months

"Never have children. They'll ruin your life." -Dad

CaptainPajamaShark · 6 months

"It is quite possible that millions of people are wrong and what you are doing is right" Dad

enigma2g · 6 months

I'm a 23 year old dude who's about 5'5. My fathers advice was that if a much bigger man starts a fight with me I should punch him as hard as possible in the Adams apple then run.

[deleted] · 6 months

I was struck in a brutal traffic jam with my Dad (he was driving), it was so brutal that I, as the passenger, was getting agitated. My Dad stayed calm the entire time, it didn't bother him. I asked him how he could stay so calm and he said "I can't control how fast that traffic goes, but I can control how fast I want to go." I've tried to adopt this to many aspects of my life.

underweartycoon · 6 months

"You'll always be amazed by what you can achieve when you have to do it."

UCFis4lovers · 6 months

I used to go with my dad on take your kid to work day. He was a driver for a small local courier company (real shit job). At the end of the day he would always tell me the same thing "This is why you need to make good grades in school."

TheOnlyStolid · 6 months

I asked my father what the meaning of life was, his response was "To do better than my father before me." Kinda stuck with me.

deathtopenguin5 · 6 months

Dad: If there's a wet patch on the pavement near a wall, don't walk in it! It's piss.

_throw_it_all_away_ · 6 months

In ten years, you're going to look back at you life, and it's not going to be the nights you got a full night's rest that you will remember most.

WhyHellYeah · 6 months

Start saving money early.

Legsformiles · 6 months

My brother is about 6 years older than me, but I was always bitchy and horrible to him. I'd steal his stuff and ruin them on purpose and pull general asshatery like that. My mom once sat us both down after I pulled a particularly horrible stunt to hurt him and told us that no matter what happens in our lives, where we live or how many friends we have, we will always have each other. She basically told us that we can't get away from each other, so we better learn to get along and look out for one another like a team.

Fast forward 12ish years, my brother is my best friend. He doesn't live near me anymore, but he's even moving further away and I have been sobbing about that for weeks now. I would do anything for him and I know he'd sacrifice anything for me as well. There is no one I trust more. When I see how my adult friends continue to bitch and bicker with their siblings, I get really sad for them. My boyfriend is still in constant competition with his siblings, and any time they spend together results in arguments. If it wasn't for my mom, I'm sure my brother and I would have a shitty relationship like that.

Well, that was pretty saccharine, but it was nice to get it off my chest :)

VardamonsMom · 6 months

Dad - "Being smart isn't about knowing the answer. It's about knowing where to find the answer."

Mom- "Love thine enemy - it pisses them off!"

ZeroPercent · 6 months

my dad salary: it's not what you make it's what you take home.

ozo1250 · 6 months

Son, you're as stupid as a mule and twice as ugly. So if a stranger offers you a ride, I'd say take it

wheresmycake · 6 months

From my grandpa, visiting him in the hospital with my girlfriend just before he died: "If she's a bitch now, a ring ain't gonna fix her."

NotChainsawJuggler · 6 months

Working hard is good; working smart is better.

Thanks dad.

domlebo70 · 6 months

This is a story about my mom's unintentional advice.

When I was 12, my parents divorced. I had a really hard time with it, and I hated everything; school, people, life, and myself. I was a holy terror and I took out my anger on my mom especially and threatened to run away. One morning, she locked all the doors, including the inside doors that led to windows, and wouldn't let me leave to go to school. I took an old foam baseball bat and tried to break the doors down while she watched calmly. I beat on the doors, screamed, raged, called her names, and eventually broke down crying on the floor while she hugged me and told me that it was okay. It turned out to be a huge turning point in my life and I started getting As in school and making friends again. Last year, she took me in again after I left my husband and helped me get back on my feet, never asking for a dime in return. Without ever having to say it out loud, my mom showed me that the best thing you can do for someone is show compassion and just love them, without asking for a reward. She showed me how to be by living the example. My mom is the most amazing woman I know, and I hope I can be as good a parent to my son as she was to me.

Th3Thinker · 6 months

"If she looks good from a distance, she'll look good in the dark."

nimrod108 · 6 months

My father told me:

'Like them all, love a few but always paddle your own canoe'

Not sure where he got it from.

roosterlollipops · 6 months

Find something you love then figure out a way to get people to give you money for doing it.

AgnostiSystem · 6 months

Never trust a fart. - Dad

iloveaol · 6 months

never take advice from someone whom isn't doing better than you...idiots love to give shitty advice.

vietbond · 6 months

Don't look for three legs on a cat when you know it has four.

illrepute · 6 months

On my marriage day my dad told me:

"Son, I have counseled many married couples over the years and almost all martial problems are caused by money and sex. The trick is to have as much of both as you can."

My dad never steered me wrong.

FumperBuckers · 6 months

Marry a good Canadian girl.

DONE.

RoboNinjaPirate · 6 months

When you get mad at someone, think of the most evil twisted thing you could do to get even with them. -- Then remember, someone you piss off might have a better imagination than you do.

Never get romantic with someone that you know you could never marry. If you know it wouldn't last, it's not worth stopping.

Hellbilly_Slim · 6 months

My Dad: "Hellbilly, pick your wife like you would pick a car....something nice that will help you get where you want to go in life, but not something so nice that other people are always trying to steal it."

benzocaine · 6 months

The best advice I ever had was from my father about drugs:

Dad: "I don't want you to look at me and just assume that smoking pot every day is a good and acceptable thing. I want you to go online, to read a book, ask a scientist or a doctor about the effects of marijuana and other drugs. Then, after you have learned about both sides of the issue, you can decide whether or not you want to smoke pot or do drugs."

Edit: Typos. >.<

kimbo85 · 6 months

My dad's pearl of wisdom was "don't make a decision till you have to." Saves me from jumping the gun and doing something rash every time.

blueflight · 6 months

Don't start a fight but finish one. In school, there always seem to be a bully around to pick on other kids. My parents taught me to stand up to the bully. For myself and other kids.

RedCanary · 6 months

My Dad: "Don't argue with crazy bitches."

He also told me that I don't need to win every little disagreement, but I sure as hell better fight when it matters most.

PatsBabe · 6 months

My mom always told me to beware of who my friends are, even my best friend. She was right.

smfrank777 · 6 months

My dad told me this. Son in life there's only three things you should really worry about. Those are money, women, and addiction. Once you have money you get power, and people will want to take advantage of you, not for your good qualities but to use you for their benefits. Have honest people you trust that are truly altruistic. With money women will become more attracted to you. You have to be careful about the kinds of women you are with, because men's greatest weakness is how they can be tempted by women. Find the right girl in life who will love you when you are stripped down to nothing, that sees you for your heart and mind. Finally, addiction can drive a man to greed, pain, and causing harm to everyone around him. Don't be addicted to money and power, they're not the most important things in the world. Don't be addicted to lust, you have to be faithful to those you care about. Don't be addicted to gambling and drugs, they're absence of self-control.

space-bird · 6 months

1st place: "If you don't control that temper, it will control you."

2nd place: "Wrap that rascal!"

3rd place: "When you get a dog, you get that dog for life."

Marty_Stu · 6 months

"they say it don't be like it is, but it do."

Wise words.

nonroboticvoice · 6 months

I asked my uncle (the most successful member of my family) for advice on entering college. He said "People will tell you that 'if you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life.' That's bullshit. Everything turns into a job eventually, so pick something that pays well."

cochy · 6 months

when i was about 10: Mom: "make sure you REALLY like whoever you give your first blowjob to, because you will remember them for the rest of your life!!"

funsizedsamurai · 6 months

stop drinking when your arms go numb. It's great advice.

QuOS · 6 months

"Closed mouth gathers no feet" - Mumzy,
Dad: It's not hard to deal with a nice person. It's not hard to have a falling out with a bitch. Try dealing with a bitch - then I will respect you.

soulefood · 6 months

I was really interested in this girl but she had a boyfriend. My dad said "If there's not a ring on her finger, she's still playing the game."

We've been married 3 years now.

GrandMasterC · 6 months

1). "It's oaky to wade into the red river just don't dive in head first". It took me years to figure what he was talking about. 2). "Don't poop on your own time, don't sweat on the company's". 3). "Shit rolls downhill. Payday's on Friday".

sultan_of_swing · 6 months

Chill the fuck out, you'll look back on this one day and think why was I so stressed.

Best advice ever

whatever_idc · 6 months

Me: Dad, random question; What would you say if I told you I were gay?

Dad: Are you?

Me: No.

Dad: Well I'd say I'm happy that you are who you are and I love you for that. Always be yourself.

linkthe2nd · 6 months

Don't be an idiot. Changed my life. Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, “Would an idiot do that?” And if they would, I do not do that thing.

BarbaNerd · 6 months

Don't spend what you don't have.

RedHelling · 6 months

Not my parents but my boss:

Redhelling, there's two thing you have to be carefull where you put them, your dick and your signature.

blackjack545 · 6 months

"don't stick your dick in a crazy"

"ok mom."

[deleted] · 6 months

Tarp your load.

captchasarehard · 6 months

Go ugly early. Took me years until I understood what dad meant by that.

Edit: Realized other people might also have a hard time realizing what this means. It means set the bar low from the start hitting on ugly chicks early in the night when you go out, and you have way better chances of banging something.

auxiliaryaccount · 6 months

Wear Sunscreen

ojolejano · 6 months

"Leave some bread for tomorrow"

energy4anarchy · 6 months

Don't get too caught up thinking only about yourself

lurking_llama · 6 months

When I was 16 just before my first day at my first job he told me to not get involved in any work place bitchiness because "shit can just get nasty". He was very much right about that one, I always make a conscious effort to follow this and it's saved me getting involved in a few nasty incidents.

Torchwood77 · 6 months

My Dad: I'm not upset with the decisions you've made. I only care about what you plan to do now.

I keep my head up after mistakes knowing that I can change the future.

Thanks, Dad!

[deleted] · 6 months

"When you have children, know that patience is invaluable. Most others don't realize that and fuck somebody else up for life."

Zombielypse · 6 months

Use your words till the other guy throws the first punch.

Buttersnips · 6 months

"...Now, stroke the shaft and cup the balls."

MedicineRule · 6 months

Mom: "Don't waste your time worrying about whether or not other people are judging you. Cuz I got news for you: they always are."

zanderjh · 6 months

There are 3 things you just don't talk about with people you aren't very familiar with.

Money

Politics

Religion

Thanks mom,

britaingreen · 6 months

Look at the girl's mom before dating.

poundingbassline · 6 months

''Be smart and stay safe''

DHumefan · 6 months

Don't get women pregnant.

ryanthegeek · 6 months

Mom: Deny, deny, deny.

CrapThunder · 6 months

Right before college: Hit on the average looking girls because everyone is going to try fucking the hot bimbos. And wear a rubber.

Davidauf · 6 months

"Women...life's tough enough without their crap." -Dad

I'll add that he's been happily married to my mother for over twenty-five years...he's just had some bad girlfriends in his life and knows what's up.

virbyte · 6 months

Stop asking why. If you answer one why, you'll just find more whys. Ask how, that's how you get things done.

Ifunctiononkitkats · 6 months

"Shun evil companions."

My mom was finishing her umpteenth glass of wine at the wine, but it was still very wise advice.

Nipplepiss · 6 months

"Don't pick a shitty career, like me."

He also says I gave him the best advice he's ever received: "the definition of success for a man is to earn more money than his wife can spend."

We've decided these two go together well.

0xdeadc0d3 · 6 months

The only worthwhile thing my father ever said to me;

"In the land of the blind, the one eyed man may be king, but the two eyed man is God."

mikeferguson84 · 6 months

An old drunk lady at the bar my dad took me to as a child... oh good times... told me "Never to grow up... men are assholes"

And I never did.

magicmuds · 6 months

I was a directionless, drifting 20 year old and my dad said "ya know, you should consider the military". I immediately refused. He said "just go talk with the recruiter, see what they have to offer, I'll go with ya". So I went, and eventually joined the Army. Best thing I could have done, it changed my life.

6 months

[deleted]

TryingToSucceed · 6 months

The overall statistics don't matter to the individual.

[deleted] · 6 months

"Don't dip your ink in company policy" - Dad drank.

abumpdabump · 6 months

my father always reminded me that in life you will always take risks. Sometimes you're forced to, sometimes you have the choice. When you have the choice, if you are aware of the fact that you are already taking a risk, do not take on another risk at the same time(given that they are related).

barfmagnet · 6 months

My dad on my wedding day: "sometimes it is best to keep your mouth shut even when you know you are right."

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