Reference for /r/lgbt and /r/transgender
This guide has been written not as a comprehensive guide to everything about the lgbt community. Rather, it's to act as a guide with terms and issues you'll most likely encounter in these communities (and likely throughout reddit or elsewhere). For more thorough information, please check out the resources at the bottom, or ask a question in one of the communities.
FAQ
Am I gay/bi/lesbian/transgender?
This is something you can't ask anyone else- you have to figure it out for yourself. To begin, you don't have to worry so much about what you call yourself. Instead, focus on your feelings.
Questions to consider: Do you get similar feelings with women that you do with the guys you've dated? Do they differ- and how? Do you feel a stronger (romantic/emotional) connection with a certain gender? What about sexually- do you think about women and/or men in a sexual way?
Meeting others
Meeting others who are lgbt can be very difficult- not everyone wears a rainbow bracelet to identify themself. The best way to meet others is to go to where lgbt people go: organizations (activist, or otherwise), gay pride events, clubs/groups (hiking group, music group, sports team), bars, or other places that are more welcoming to lgbt people.
Is it a choice?
No. People do not choose their orientation, whether they're straight, gay or bi. The cause of a person's orientation is likely the combination of factors which are out of a person's control.
Is there a "gay gene"?
There is not one single gene specifically used to make someone gay/bi or not. Genetics play a role, but there's no "one" single gene that is "the gay gene."
Why do gay people flaunt it?
When the majority of people are straight, its easy to forget how often someone's orientation is referenced: what you did on Friday night (you went on a date?), talking about your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, etc. When a glbt person mentions something about their sexuality, it stands out from the norm, so it can seem like they're flaunting it. Rainbows are also very common in the glbt community. It's not so much about "flaunting" as it is an effort to remain visible. Because of discrimination and hate towards the glbt population, and the difficulty in being a visible minority, rainbows (and gay pride, including parades) all help to increase that visibility. It's easy to hate and vote away rights if you can't see the group you're hurting. Once you realize you know someone in that group, things change.
Why do people who are gay men dress like women and act effeminate; a lesbians act and dress butch?
This is far from universal. GLBT people come in all different varieties, and in all different mannerisms- just as straight people do. A girl who's a tomboy or likes trucks doesn't make her a lesbian; a guy who likes musicals or hates sports doesn't make him gay. Those who fit the stereotype stand out more, and its easier to connect them with the orientation.
How do you come out?
There is no easy answer to this. Much of it depends on how old a person is, how likely they would be to get kicked out, disowned, abused, harassed, etc.
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Glossary/Terminology
- LGBT, GLBT, or other variations
- The alphabet soup initialism (acronym) to describe the various terms of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered community. Other letters that are often included: Q-ueer, A-sexual, A-lly, I-ntersex. Queer is often used as an alternative to be inclusive without having to add on more "letters" to do so and be less alphabetic.
- Transman
- A person with a male gender identity, but a mismatched sex.
- Transwoman
- A person with a female gender identity, but a mismatched sex.
- Cisperson
- A cis person is a person (cismale, or cisfemale) whose gender identity and physical sex match.
- Gender and Sex
- Gender is the mental identity of an individual. Sex is the physical.
- Sexual Orientation
- A person's orientation is something someone has no control over. The three main way to label orientation include gay/lesbian, bisexual, and straight. Someone who is gay/lesbian (homosexual) is someone attracted to the same gender. Someone who is straight (heterosexual) is someone attracted to the opposite gender. In between, those who are attracted to both genders are bisexual. There isn't really a clear line that separates the three, however, and these feelings might fluctuate throughout a person's lifetime. It's common for a person to find themselves attracted to someone outside their identified orientation (someone who's straight finding a person of the same sex attractive, for example).
- Outside of these three labels, there there are queer, pansexual, and omnisexual (with the latter two being syonymous) that are used as more broad terms, that also includes genders outside the traditional male-female gender-binary.
- Queer
- An umbrella term used to describe any non-standard orientation. It's all encompassing to include bisexuals, pansexuals, gays, lesbians, or even others whose sexuality is outside the norm (various fetishes, for example). Queer can also be an alternative to "lgbt" (et al). This word is still sometimes seen as an insult, and can have mixed reactions to its use.
- Genderqueer
- Similar to queer, this is an all-encomposing term for non-standard gender identities. For those who don't fall into the binary labels of male or female, genderqueer is often a term for a third gender because of the ambiguity.
- Asexual
- A person who has no sexual attraction/drive. This includes both people who are still (romantically) attracted to otherse, and those who aren't attracted to anyone beyond friendship (known as aromantic asexuals). For asexuals who do have attractions to others, they can be gay/lesbian or bi to be in a (platonic) romantic relationship with.
Phobia
- Homophobia
- Biphobia
- Transphobia
LGBT rights
This is just an example list of some of the things lgbt people are trying to achieve equality in:
- Marriage
- Military
- Adoption
- Employment discrimination protection
- Housing discrimination protection
- Hate crime Legislation
- Immigration
- End of sodomy laws, establishing equal age of consent
- End of imprisonment and death penalties
- Official recognition of gender change
- Access to unisex restrooms
- Child protection/homelessness
- Protected class
- LGBT erasure
- Ending homophobia (biphobia, transphobia), and violence/harassment
Links/Resources
Related reddits
Other resources
- PSN manual - Awesome Transgender Glossary
- National Center for Transgender Equality, list of rights